The Road to Hell by Elizabeth Stanley

Author:Elizabeth Stanley
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Auckland University Press
Published: 2016-04-11T04:00:00+00:00

Developing a Positive Future

While dealing with the past, contributors are building new futures for themselves. Emerging from institutions in poor educational shape, with limited work options and relational skills, they have faced many stumbling blocks (Monty). Yet, many are great success stories. As Kevin reflected on some of his peers:

They had a bad home life, a bad boys’ home life and then a bad prison youth life but they’ve come out okay. They’re well-respected people in the community and live in society to the fullest, and have got a good job, they’ve turned their lives around.

Despite their damaged prospects, and their diminished opportunities, contributers have needed to live lives of strength, self-respect and survival after the institutions:

I think I’ve done quite well. I’ve gone from the brink of full-scale addict to pulling my life together, having a relationship with my kids, maintaining a healthy relationship, out there working . . . And that’s one thing I’m really proud of . . . I think I’ve always wanted to survive, I’ve always thought you’re not going to win. I refuse to give up. I’ve had my stages where I’ve hit rock bottom but I’ve climbed back up, and I’ve fallen and I’ve climbed back up, and I’ve fallen, but now I seem to have climbed back up and I’m staying there. At long last I can hold my own and that’s so good. (Raewyn)

At 50 years old I am a product of the system, like it or not . . . they took everything I had, absolutely everything from the time of going into the boys’ home to Kohitere, borstal, prison. But one thing they’ve never taken off me is my pride. And they never will. I’ve kept that, it’s been dented but it ain’t taken and that’s the only thing that’s kept me going all these years. (Des)

I believe that I can be a survivor, with my own strength and to be really sincere and honest with myself. And just to look at the whole situation, to put it all in wharenui and look down at it. Okay, that’s all my shit, do I need to live with any part of it, or do I want to throw it away and start building good things? . . . I replace it with golden stars for all the things I’ve gone through. So I can say that’s my star rather than being a victim and that’s how positive I want to be. I can learn from it and use it wisely. (Koura-Kino)

Contributors demonstrated resilience in spades. Yet, again, these positive futures also depended upon others who showed love, respect and care.25 Contributors often saw friends, partners and parents as vital, but a fair few remarked upon how their children had made them act and think differently. They sought to build trusting, non-violent and respectful relationships with their offspring:

The best move was when I got my son and then everything changed. You know, nothing can compare to looking after a child, making sure your kid’s got food, is safe, not getting a hiding, like generally happy.

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